How to Turn A Girl into A Boy

Apparently, VW Beetles are transgender, and I didn’t even know they were transitioning!

The VW Beetle spent the last few decades passing as a girl. She wore colors that ranged from pastels to colorful and fun to flashy. She even carried flowers around with her to signal her softer side.

To take a more critical stance, Beetle has mascaraded as a young teenage girl wanna-be. One example of this appears in Mandy Moore’s debut video for her song, “Candy” (see Beetle poses as young teenager at points 1:17 and 2:20).

Why did VW Beetle decide to come out of the closet with such a splash? Apparently, this is a man’s world, so who wouldn’t want to be a man, right?

So how does one go about changing from a girl into a boy? I hear the procedures are expensive and that the better doctors are in Canada. In the case of the United States, however, it appears that it is easy to transition, since gender is mostly superficial.

First you add fist bumps and make him desirable to anyone he meets. Next, you change anything on him that might be interpreted as too girlish such as the wrong colors or accessories. Finally, you use manly words to describe him: “aggressive,” “updated,” “turbocharged,” and “diesel.”

Is this all it takes to transition from a girl to a boy? Sheesh! In that case, all girls can become boys. They just have to change what they wear, how they accessorize, how they describe themselves, and how they think the world sees them–as powerful and desirable and turbocharged, of course!

Really? Then why do men typically assign a female name to anything that has an engine? Why do they refer to their motorized vehicles as sexy, beauties, or their babies? There seems to be some sort of a disconnect here, so someone please help me understand.

Also, do car manufacturers think women only buy cars because they’re cute? Do they think we don’t want to drive something that is supercharged or turbo or diesel?